Lovelorn Blues

So anyway, I'm a single guy. And like other single guys I think, "Why on earth would anyone want to be chained to another person?" Now I'm not one of those guys that jumps aboard anything that comes my way. What I love is that I'm not accountable to anyone. Being single, as I see it, is a blessing and I certainly I cherish and enjoy it immensely. I see it as being wild and free to cavort in the bucolic spendour of Singledom, being able to sniff all the wild flowers and roll freely in the meadows like a child, laughing and breathing deep the liberating fresh air of my independence.

And enjoyed it I have, that is, until I look around and see what's happening around me. These days the people around me are pairing off one by one. What used to be weekly weekend outings have slowly become fortnightly then monthly then whenever they can be bothered. But more disconcerting than the waning companionship of friends is the fact that Singledom is beginning to lose it's sheen, the grass is becoming a little browner and the air a little dirtier. Now that I've had a glimpse of Coupledom, it seems the once pristine landscape of the Land of the Singles I once found so beautiful and arresting is starting to look a little barren and lifeless because in the Land, there is no other soul except me.

I have two very close friends who happen to be a couple and from what I can see from their relationship, you have to explain every detail of any plans that doesn't involve the other party, justify money spent on a spree, be home at a certain time, worry if the other has eaten dinner, things like that. Okay, so it doesn't exactly sound like a horror story but it would certainly be a huge adjustment to have to accomodate the presence, habits and personality of a separate entity in your life. Why would anyone put themselves through that?

But I also see that they have someone to kiss whenever they want, someone to mull over thoughts and ideas with, someone to hold when it's cold, little romantic things like that (which I'm a complete sucker for). A wise friend once told me that the ultimate human truth is that we all seek to be understood. Romantic gestures aside, perhaps a relationship offers the means to be understood at such a deep and penetrating level that isn't possible with any other kind of human interaction. Maybe that's why I'm ovecome with this aching melancholic loneliness when I see my coupled-off friends hold hands then argue then hold hands again. They have another person who accepts their flaws and bad habits but also basks in their presence. In other words, someone to understand them. I'm starting to believe that wise friend of mine.

As with all things in life, we have to take the good with the bad. It's all about balance. But I'm starting to feel that the good in having a relationship tips the scale so far that it render the effects of the bad negligible. Do I have an all-too romantic view on the whole concept? Probably. In any case, it's time for me to log into Gay Matchmaker.